Accosted by the mattress salesman,
I listen to his pitch.
“You must be weary
walking from store to store.
Come and try
this wonderful bed.
It fits everyone’s budget.
Stretch the payments
over several months
you won’t feel a thing.
Or I’ll cut a real deal for you:
knock off 10% for cash and carry.”
I’ve learned from a mythic traveler
who journeyed this way before —
met perils with aplomb
gave smooth talkers no quarter.
I lunge at the mattress salesman,
throw him onto the bed,
his arms and legs thrashing desperately.
I tie him down with floral sheets,
beat him with pillows,
heap duvets on his head.
Feathers flutter crazily about us.
A crowd gathers, and someone points
to my golden sandals
and sword of bronze.
For I have become a hero
ready for other adventures
in the labyrinthine corridors of the mall.
Published in Descant, Issue 99